During the Comedy Festival this year, Rose Matafeo died on five consecutive nights and the crowd went wild. Reviewers said her show, Finally Dead, was “incredible”, and a “theatre comedy masterpiece”. I was amazed and awed and a little frightened by it, and by her. After all, it’s scary when people younger than yourself are really good at things. It’s scary when they’re funnier, cleverer, wiser. In the interests of overcoming these silly fears, and in honour of the triumphant return of Finally Dead to the Basement next week, I asked for Rose’s words of wisdom from beyond the grave.
What was the proudest moment in your career?
It would have to be the time I won an Oscar for both starring AND directing myself in a film adaptation of the iPhone app ‘Angry Birds’. They still study my performance in that picture at a number of drama schools.
What was the best piece of advice you were ever given?
Never buy a pair of shoes for less than $100. Consequently I don’t have many pairs of shoes, but I still have my principles.
Who were your biggest influences?
In the latter part of my life, I really adopted a bitchy Faye Dunaway energy – I would scowl every time the cameras were on me when I was nominated and eventually won my 15 Oscars.
Name three dead people you’d like to invite to a dinner party in the afterlife (and why).
Rasputin because he seems like a good laugh; my current boyfriend because I assume he’ll die before me and I don’t want all the ghosts at the dinner party asking if I’m seeing someone; and Gene Kelly so I can see that cute butt of his IRL.
If you could go back in time, what one piece of advice would you give yourself?
Buy the 2025 Sports Almanac, get in this time machine with me and let’s go make a FORTUNE!
What was your greatest fear when you were alive, and has that changed now you’re dead?
My greatest fear in life was dying, so I’m quite disappointed to be dead now and realise there was nothing to be scared of. If only I were alive to know this piece of information!
What do you think is the key to a happy life?
Happy wife, happy life! I have that tattooed to my decomposing corpse in Latin.
When were you happiest?
Probably all the times I smooched someone. God, I did some great smooching. I’m getting all misty about smooches now.
What life lesson did dying teach you?
Always check if you have your phone charger before you go to heaven. I’ve been up here with a dead phone for ages, so if anyone has been trying to reach me in the afterlife just hit me up on Facebook messenger.
Life motto? Death motto?
Live Hard, Die Hard 3.0
You can see Finally Dead at the Basement from the 9th-13th June. Don’t miss the chance. Rose will leave NZ soon and forget about us all. GET TICKETS >>