Wilson Dixon

We’re one week into the Comedy Festival and we’ve got brilliant shows coming out our ears. Country music singer/comedian Wilson Dixon is one example, selling out shows every night at the MonteCristo Room. Get into it. You can follow all our comedy adventures here.

I’m a lover but I’m also a fighter, which I think is necessary these days. If someone comes up to mug me, I’m not going to hug them, however if someone comes up to hug me I’ve got to remember not to punch them.

My day usually begins with a pee and ends with a jolt as my body does that weird jolt thing as I’m going off to sleep. You know the one where you dream you’re stepping off a curb or falling off a chair? I think the jolt is something to do with your blood pressure changing or something. Why your subconscious needs to associate that with a dream of falling or bumping into something is a mystery we’re never likely to know.

Name your three favourite places in Auckland to eat, drink and play
I’m not from Auckland, so my knowledge is limited, but I’d suggest if you wanted to do all those three things at once, a cheap all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant with a bar and a playground would be my suggestion. If they don’t exist here, my next suggestion would be someone’s house that has a backyard and a box of toys.

Tell us something we’d be surprised to know about you
I’m pretty good at origami. My Uncle Cleetus taught me as a child. I was the child, not him. It’s unusual, for a start, for an Uncle to be younger than you, and for him to also teach you origami would be downright far-fetched. Anyway, after mastering the crane I moved on to ducks, geese and swans (they’re all the same, to be fair, just with different length necks) and then progressed on to cows, pigs and snakes. My current favourite animal to origamify is the Axolotl, the Mexican walking fish. Getting the legs to look realistic is tricky.

Pick a book and a park you’d like to read it in, anywhere in the world.
I’d go to Yosemite National Park and read a really short book like a novella, or maybe even a pamphlet about the park since I’m there. When you’re in a place like Yosemite, the less reading the better due to the fact that you’re in one of the most spectacular outdoor environments in the World and having your nose in a book is the height of stupidity.

Fill us in on what’s been happening in your life over the past year, in three sentences or less.
I had my birthday. My Uncle Cleetus, who loves animals and keeps a few cattle on his property, got a tattoo of a calf on his calf. I finally hit the dating scene after a few years out of the game after my divorce from Maureen, to mixed results.

What’s your personal mantra? Why?
Do unto others what they would do unto you, as long as they are normal-range people acting appropriately in normal circumstances. The reason this is my personal mantra is simple, what goes around comes around, and what you put around, can also come back to bite you, so in summary do good things.

What music/song/artist do you listen to when you’re feeling heartbroken?
I like Dwight Yoakam’s  album “Tomorrow’s Sounds Today” mainly coz it was so ahead of it’s time, and specifically the songs “The Heartaches Are Free” and “Dreams Of Clay.”

If you could give your 20yr old self one piece of advice, what would it be?
I’d tell him to get the brakes on his 1972 Chevy pick up truck serviced more regularly since the accident that occurred in the summer of that year while my brother Jethrow was at the wheel as he came down Crawdaddy Valley Rd could have been avoided. The result was a written-off vehicle, an injured knee that still swells up like a raccoon’s ass when the rain comes in September, and a strained fraternal relationship that to be honest has never truly recovered.

If everyone in the world had a theme song that played when they walked into a room, what would yours be and why?
I’d like a fog horn off a ship. It’s not so much a theme song, more an industrial warning decice, but I reckon if a song played every time you came into a room it would get a bit tiresome. I mean, you’d stand around a lot waiting for the song to finish. A fog horn is perfect – it’s loud, it announces your arrival with a certain foggy mystique, but it’s also short enough to not get in the way of having a functional life.

Wilson Dixon’s show, For the First Time, Again, is playing at the MonteCristo Room until the 16th of May. GET TICKETS HERE.